It's not love, if it doesn't hurt
by xxtivazonexx
Summary: Two years after Tony left Ziva in Israel. Is she back again? How is Tony? What happened in those two years? English is not my native laguage. TIVA FF.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: disclaimed.

A/N: Before you read this story I will tell you that English is not my native language but I just love to read, write or speak it :). Also this is my first story in English so I would be very happy if you leave me a comment what I could do better.

Also, I will not update this story regularly. I will update it if I have the time and/or joy to do so.  
I wrote Chapter 2 already, but I will update it on next friday. :) So have fun reading this! And please leave me a review 3

**_It's not love if it doesn't hurt_**

It was a friday. Case closed. The members of team Gibbs went home, rule 11, when the job is done, walk away. And that was exactly what one very special agent Anthony DiNozzo did.

It was early, he would grab some take-out, maybe Chinese, grab a good movie he did not watch before and get drunk. It was exactly two years ago when he left Ziva in Israel behind. The first few months were really hard for him, he got drunk very often and did not know what to do with himself. Normally he would be watching the movie with Ziva and eat and drink with her. But she's far away, on her lovely trip finding herself.

But a few months ago he found life again. He found something which gives him hope and he is content. Not happy, but content at the moment.

He parked the car in front of the Chinese restaurant, when his phone vibrated in his pocket.

"Anthony DiNozzo."

"Hey Tony, I was wondering if you want some company tonight?" she asked.

"Sorry, but not today. Maybe Monday?"

"Yeah, of course. See you!"

"Bye."

Thirty minutes later he was going down the floor to his apartment when he saw a figure moving in the shadows. He immediately took his gun out.

"Hey! Come out of the shadows!"

He or she did not make any afford to move. Tony took one step closer. Somehow he knew that small figure which seemed to be so fragile.

"Who- who are you?" Tony asked, "I know you, is that you? –No. it cannot be."

She moved out from the corner. Tony was in a shock. He dropped his gun and holstered it.

"Ziva!" his voice sounded full of happiness.

Ziva smiled. "Hello, Tony. I'm back."

Tony could not speak any single word right now, so he just went to her and swooped her into a hug. She was real. It wasn't an illusion. She was there, live, in front of him.

He leaned back and kissed her. At first soft but their kiss grew passionate. They stumbled through his apartment, take-out long forgotten. It was the first night they spent together in two years.


	2. Chapter 2

**_A/N: Hello everyone! _Thank you for those really cute reviews and here's the next chapter for you guys! :)**

_**Chapter 2**_

_The next morning._

Tony slept peacefully. The first time he slept through the night in a long time. Ziva was lying in his strong arms. She kissed his bare chest, up his neck, then to his mouth. Tony responded and smiled through the kiss, when he suddenly broke it. Ziva was now confused.

"What's wrong?" She eyed him carefully and noticed that he looked kind of scared and sad.

"We- we should not have done this Ziva."

"What?!" Ziva went from confused to angry and hurt. "Tony I know this happened fast, maybe too fast but someday it would have eventually happened again!"

"Ziva, this isn't the reason why we shouldn't have slept together. This is a really bad timing."

"Okay, good."

Ziva got up and got dressed in record time.

"Ziva wait, please, let me explain." Tony begged her.

"I think there's nothing to explain. You said the timing is bad, so obviously you do not love me."

"That's not right and you know it!"

By now they stood in the doorframe of his apartment, Tony somehow managed to get some boxers on.

"I will go now."

"Where?"

"Bye."

He took her arm when she wanted to leave.

"Please, when you will not let me explain, just tell me where you are going. I do not want you to leave again."

"I will be staying here in D.C."

She freed her arm in a harsh motion and left, with tears in her eyes. When she was outside she let them fall freely. She was not the tough assassin anymore. She learned to show her emotions, because often it helps to talk to somebody, to not be alone.

She did not know what to do. Should she leave DC? Should she leave right tomorrow and don't visit any of her friends, any of her family? She was hurt, again. But she deserved it. She had also hurt him when she told him to leave her in Israel and now he does not love her anymore. It was her own fault.

She became a headache, too many questions.

She was pulled out of her thoughts when she heard one of her best friends call her name.

"Ziva?! OMG! Is that you?!" Then suddenly she felt arms around her, very familiar arms, which she loved around her.

"It is really you! Omg. I missed you soooo much! No, not only me but also McGee and Ducky and Palmer. Tony missed you very much." When she heard his name she felt another tear roll down her cheek. "I think Gibbs actually missed you also very much. I mean you're like a daughter to him!"

Abby pulled away from her. "Wait? Ziva? Are you crying? Omg, what happened? Come on we will drive to my apartment and have a girl's night, no girl's day since it's morning. You need to tell me everything!"

Now, Ziva smiled through her tears. At least one member of her D.C. family is happy to see her.

**_A/N: I hope you liked chapter two! I would be very happy, if you write me a short review of this chapter and what I could do better. I wrote chapter three already and it is MUCH longer than the last chapters._**

**_Thanks for reading! Have a nice day/night :D_**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

After a few minutes they arrived at Abby's apartment. She did not change a bit, that made Ziva smirk.

"So, first at all I want to know where you're staying at."

"I've rented a hotel room a few blocks from here."

"Okay. You're going to live with me…of course until you found a new apartment, but there's no hurry with that. I'm just soooo glad to have you back!" Abby embraced her once again. "Wait. You're staying here? I mean like forever? You're not going to leave us again, are you?"

"I…I honestly don't know, Abby. I feel like leaving all over again." She told her sadly.

"Okay. Sit down. Don't run away. I'll make us some tea and then you're going to tell me why you're so sad and why you were crying earlier."

Ziva sighed and did what Abby told her to do. Five minutes later Abby came into her living room with two steaming cups. She gave one to Ziva and sat down next to her.

"So, why were you crying?"

"I was just happy to see you again."

Of course Ziva wanted to be more open to people but she couldn't talk about it, not yet. Ziva managed a small smile.

"Awww Ziva! That's too cute! But we know, that's not what made you, or makes you, sad. And you're going to tell me what it is."

"I, I,…Abby, please, I do not want to talk about it right now."

Suddenly it dawned on Abby. She found her in the street to Tony's apartment. Abby's eyes went wide.

"You visited Tony." It was a statement, not a question.

Ziva managed a whispered "Yes."

"So you know?"

"Know what exactly?"

"That Tony has a girlfriend?" Ziva's eyes went wide because of shock. And Abby clapped her hands over her mouth. "I'm soooo sorry! I didn't know you didn't know and now you know and omg that's not good. Tony should've told you himself."

Ziva began tearing up again. She stood and grabbed her jacket, ready to leave.

"Abby, I am sorry. I just need to go, be alone for a while. I will call you tomorrow."

"Ziva wait. What's wrong? Tell me, please!"

"He's just an idiot, a selfish idiot. I need to go. Bye."

And then, just like that she slammed the door behind her, leaving Abby wondering what she meant with that. What happened between her two best friends? She needed to know.

At Tony's apartment.

Shit. What has he done?! The love of his life just went out his door, maybe forever. And now, he has nothing, besides his girlfriend, who is or was a replacement for his Ziva. She looks exactly like the love of his life. Brown eyes, dark, curly hair and even their smell is similar. What should he do next? Should he break up with his girlfriend and try to be with Ziva? But what if Ziva does not want him anymore? Then he really would have nothing! Zara is a great woman, but she is not the one he imagined to have a family with. It always was and is Ziva. He is old and needs to start a family soon if he does not want to be too old to play basketball with his little princess. Secretly, he always wanted a family. He wanted a real, functional family, with members who are carrying his genes.

What should he do with his life? Should he just marry a woman who was only a replacement for Ziva and actually means nothing to him? Or should he break up with Zara and grow old, alone? He was desperate so he decided to get drunk and be drunk the whole weekend through. He did not want to think. Thinking hurts.

Sunday.

Gibbs heard steps above him. He knows that kind of steps, delicate and very silent ones. He heard them stopping at the staircase. He knew exactly who it was, but he calmly sanded his boat. He waited but nothing happened, that's when he decided to speak.

"Hello, Ziver."

Then he heard her going down the stairs.

"Hello, Gibbs." She managed a small smile.

"You're in DC again." Gibbs stated and smiled at her.

Ziva grinned "Yeah." They hugged. Ziva sat down on an old chair and Gibbs continued sanding his boat, they spend a couple of minutes in silence, if she wanted to speak she would.

"I visited Tony. And then Abby."

Gibbs kept sanding.

"Tony… Tony and I…er…"

"What's wrong Ziver?"

"We-we slept together and-and the next morning I found out he does not love me. I met Abby after I left his house, but I could not tell her. She told me, that he has a girlfriend." Ziva rambled Abby-like and tears made their way down her cheeks. Gibbs went to her and kissed her temple.

"Talk to 'em, Ziver."

"I do not think-"

"Ziver." He glared at her "you two need to sort things out."

"I…Okay. I will think about it. Thank you, Gibbs."

"Welcome home, kid." He once again embraced her and kissed her temple. Ziva felt home and smiled.

Monday. NCIS.

"Ugh, Tony, you stink!" McGee said, really disgusted. "Did you get drunk?"

"What d'ya think McKnowItAll?" Tony said in a harsh tone.

"Did something happen?" McGee asked concerned about his best friend.

"Obviously."

"Do you want to talk about it? Maybe I could help you?"

"Tim, look, I made a really, really big mistake and I'm hating myself for it. I lost the love of my life."

"Err, you mean Zara?"

"Tim, you have something to do today evening?"

"Nope."

"Good. Grab a few beers, I'll order pizza and come to my apartment. It could help to talk about everything."

"Okay."

McGee resumed typing his case report, while Tony grabbed fresh clothes from his bottom drawer and headed to the showers. After a few minutes Gibbs appeared.

"McGee! Where's DiNozzo?"

"Err, he just, err, he went to the showers, boss." McGee stammered.

"He got drunk?" Gibbs asked shortly.

"I-I think so, boss."

"You keep an eye on him." After that Gibbs disappeared again with his coffee. That was strange to McGee clearly Gibbs knew something he did not know. Maybe he should head down to Labby and ask Abby if she knows why everyone is acting weird.


End file.
